After a much longer and quite pleasant trip back to London for work in July and August I finally returned back to sunny Singapore about a stone heavier from a daily diet of client dinners, smoozing, summer BBQs and enough pints and of London Pride to shift the share price of Young’s in a positive direction.
Work has been a little bit hectic, which has meant a bit of knuckling down and getting stuck in rather than sitting about in the sunshine by the pool drinking frozen margaritas.
So after this busy period I decided that it was time for a bit of adventure and some long overdue holiday. There is no shortage of amazing places to throw oneself at in this part of the world and Singapore has some great and very cheap flight connections to lots of places that I can neither pronounce nor have any inclination of their geographic whereabouts.
It’s odd looking up and taking a precarious glance at the departures board and seeing a long list of places that I’ve never heard of but all sounding quite exotic nonetheless. Having two full weeks of which to play with I decided on a bit of beach pampering for the first half and some sort of mini adventure for the second half.
Luckily, I had a friend visiting from overseas for some of this too, so it made it even more fun to have someone to go with.
So, Bintan (an island a few hours south of Singapore in Indonesia) was chosen for the former and a full week in Saigon in Vietnam for the latter.
Bintan was great and is only an hour by high speed ferry from the south of Singapore. I stayed at the Banyan tree resort which is a top notch resort spa where you are pruned, preened and plucked to within an inch of your life by some expertly trained staff. I’d never really had a proper spa massage before so I was not really sure if I’d like it or not. I can safely say, it’s a great experience and very very relaxing.
So deeply relaxed was I after said massage that as I looked out yonder from the private balcony to which my newly massaged and scrubbed derrière was perched, I perused the calm seas only to see two people come screaming past on jet bikes whooping with glee. You’ve never seen me run down to the beach hire shop so fast clutching a wad of sweaty dollars in my hot but perfectly manicured hand.
After all these years and having ridden, driven, sailed and most often crashed most things I’d never before had a go on one of these so was quite excited. It’s brilliant so if you get the chance, have a go.
Whilst shooting across the waves at a fair rate of knots (and that’s the first time I’ve ever been able to use that phrase in it’s true context) and being bounced around and sprayed with the salty waters of the South China sea, I came to the conclusion that I was undoing all the good work that I’d just forked out good money on, so after 30 minutes I sailed it back up the beach and promptly went back to lounging around with a couple of frozen margarita from the passing waiter. After all – holidays are supposed to be relaxing are they not?
Bintan is also home to a great golf course designed by the Great White himself. It really does look like an epic course, but me not being such an epic player I just looked fondly at the crashing waves lapping against the steep wall of the 8th and sighed. Maybe next time....
So after a few days, it was time to head back to Singapore to repack, regroup and drop off all the Indonesian tourist tat and head off to Saigon for the adventure part. I’ve always had a penchant to go to Vietnam and that’s nothing to do with watching Platoon as a teenager too many times either. I can’t really say why, but when it’s only a two hours north of Singapore it was a great choice for a 5 day break. So armed with my Lonely Planet guide and a few recommendations from the Vietnam contingent at work I set off to go and explore a new land. I only had 5 days so I decided to concentrate my time on the southern areas of Saigon and the Mekong Delta. Hanoi and the Central Highlands and the beaches would have to wait another time.
Saigon (or Ho Chi Minh City) as it’s often now referred to is quite literally bonkers.
I don’t know if it’s just because I’ve been living in the sanitised bubble of perfectness that is Singapore but the moment you step out of the departure hall into the Vietnam open air everything feels like it’s been put in a blender, put on to max without the lid being attached correctly and then exploded down the kitchen wall.
Singapore is relatively quiet – Vietnam is noisy. Sing is spotless, Vietnam is slightly grubby, People in Singapore can’t drive for toffee – Vietnamese people also can’t drive for toffee..... Ah we’ve found the common ground then.
In a nutshell, I loved it from the moment I nearly got run over in the first 10 seconds of arriving to the moment I left. I’ll try and explain why.
Vietnam is rough around the edges and I guess that might have been it. For a country that was at war until a few weeks week after I was born it’s come along leaps and bounds.
Considering that more than twice the number of bombs than in the entire second world war were dropped on it, it’s a wonder that the place has anything left of it at all. Granted, it’s not the cleanest place in the world, nor is it the most coherently run, but what it lacks for in these areas it more than make up for in its underlying character, the friendliness of the people and the general sense of energy that makes places like this so much fun to visit.
Take the traffic for instance. More motorbikes live here than anywhere else on the planet. Over 3 million of them are on the roads, tracks and pavements, up trees and in the gutters.I’ve never seen anything like it. Crossing the road is something that would send The Green Cross Man to drink.
I can just imagine a gigantic Peter Prouse staring down on these little scooters zipping around the place like mosquito’s with the sea of black haired Vietnamese paying absolutely no notice to his informative but educational Stop, Look and Listen campaign and shouting out an enormous “NOOOOooooo Luke!!”
Basically there are two rules to crossing the road in Saigon. The first rule is that traffic lights do not count for shit for scooters. When the lights are red, simply bunny hop up on to the nearest curb (which has already had a helpful little ramp fitted to it) and scoot around the pesky red tinged light. Once on the other side of the light, let rip with all your 50cc might and off to the next set of lights. Repeat as necessary until the final destination has been reached. It’s like a training ground for wannabe Evil Knevil daredevils.
The second rule is that when crossing the road and in particular at junctions with more than 4 exits, nobody stops. 4 or more lanes of traffic just all collide at once and mingle amongst each other like ants. It’s a wonder to watch, so when you cross the road you just close your eyes and walk out. I liken the not being hit by a passing scooter with the same measure of biblical miraculousness of the parting of the Red Sea. It’s truly a wonder that a scooter can be ridden with 5 people on it and not end up under it. I shit you not, I even saw one with an entire double mattress (sideways) on the back being rode down the high street.
Another great thing I noticed was the street cabling. I’ve seen some shitty wiring in my time, but how on earth anyone can make sense of the telecommunication network that services the Vietnamese people is an amazement to science itself. Seeing some cables that could be carrying any medium know to man dangling from the trees and being wrapped around the nearest nail sticking out of a wall does not inspire you with confidence that any email, volt or phone call is ever going to get to where it needs to go to. The analogy of the concrete jungle was no more fitting than here as the cables looked like vines growing any which way then could around the myriad of protruding manmade structures.After a few days of Saigon it was time to move on
No trip to Vietnam would be complete without a trip to the famous Cu Chi tunnels. These are the famous tunnels that the Viet Cong used to hide in and use as a secret underground network during the Vietnam war against the Americans. This truly was a fascinating experience to go and see along with the War memorial museum in Saigon. This really was a thought provoking place and you really do see the true horror of man when you walk around it.
I’ll be honest and upfront that I never really knew much about the Vietnam war. Its history, purpose and general conduct was always a bit of a mystery to me. The museum is a great place to learn about it and visually see tanks, machine guns and a pictorial history of the entire background of the conflict and the some of the history during the lead up to it. The entire place is a little one sided in opinion that the Americans were a megalomaniac all encompassing evil, that the war on Vietnam was illegal and that left to their own devices the world would have turned out a much better place. Granted, Americans generally are a little bit evil and it was illegal, (it’s nice to know we’ve progressed a long way on that front then I guess) but being left to their own devices would have led to a further imbalance within the pro communist sympathetic countries in the region, potentially leading to a deeper conflict or destabilisation of the entire region. I made that bit up myself so you won’t get to read that bit there just in case you start to look for that poster ;)
The tunnels are a good day out from Saigon and are quite odd to see. The Viet Cong were quite small people, so that could fit down these tiny tunnels, where obviously the fat evil Burger King eating M16 wielding American GI could not fit. I managed to get my inner thigh in before I got stuck. They have made a few more tunnels that are a little bit bigger than some of the real ones but even they are tiny to get through. It was super hot, and very cramped and to be honest, a little bit scary. How it must have felt with half the American army bombing and shooting the crap out of the place is a thought I’d not like to dwell on too much.
I left the place a little sombre as it really did make me think what a shitty bunch Man can be. What drives us to do the things we do over something as trivial as the next man having a bit more tin or a little bit more rubber is boggling concept to get a hold on and one I don’t think I’ll ever really grasp.
It has kicked off a bit of history switch inside me though and I’m developing a bit of a likening for books on the region, particular late second world war stuff in and around Singapore and the region. In particular King Rat by James Clavell and The Naked Island by Russell Braddon which are based around the infamous Changi prison around the second world war. Both are fantastic accounts and have really made me want to go and see Changi prison in the future, which I’ll hopefully blog about.
So from the concrete jungle to the real jungle, to another jungle – it was time to float off down to the Mekong Delta. The Mekong Delta is an area of southern Vietnam which is mostly a network of silt rivers and estuaries. Over half the rice in Vietnam is grown here and the nearly all the locals are involved in some sort of farming, either on a subsistence basis or larger trade. Nearly everything that happens revolves around life on the river in this part of the world, so I got booked on to an overnight river cruise on a boat not to dissimilar to a traditional river junk.
Technically I think it’s a rice barge but I’m not sure.
The boat was amazing not only because of the food and the amazing scenery but for the fact we had the entire thing to ourselves. Watching the scenery pass by as we sailed deeper up the river made me a little bit like Martin Sheen sailing up the river in Apocalypse Now. After the busyness of Saigon the peace and tranquillity of the jungle was a stark contrast.
Along the way, we stopped off at various village houses to see the locals and how they lived, which was fascinating and ranged from local brick factories, to fruit plantations to a small set of houses making handicrafts and coconut sweets, which were very tasty. Nothing amazed me more than the friendliness of the local people and them wanting to share their houses, their food and welcoming a couple of strangers us into their lives, if only for an hour or two. Just makes you think if you’d do the same.
The main memory that will stick with me of the Mekong River would be the floating market, which is a large market where all the local traders come to exchange and sell goods. It’s a bit chaotic, but lots of fun and had some of the most tasty fruit I’ve ever had the delectable pleasure to taste. All in all, it was a great trip that I would recommend. Beats getting your bananas at Waitrose for sure.
So this week it’s back to work and back to Singapore and normality, if of course you can call it that.
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